i am so tired.

..................






what do u want me to blog about?



life philosophy?

it's be some endless shit. cause some of u out there know the how much cock i am capable to spill. it'll be like. uncle in coffee shop talking politics. full of bullshit.



the activities i've done?

also another endless shit. now that skul's is over. i am out almost everyday.... i do so many things. and i'm seriously lazy to take pictures and blog about it already.



complaining about OTHERS and emo emo?

lol. ppl who know me well will definately be sure that i hate blogs that are full of rant and emo shits. altho sometimes i will post emo craps if i am really to the point of desperation. and so far. out of 28 posts. i only did one apology post that i dun know really consider emo or wat.



spread the sohainess?

this is also bullcrap. juz that it's interesting bullcrap. lol. the fact that i try to be sohai always is trying to be happy always. and ofcos. in life, there is not unlimited happiness. so same goes with no unlimited fun sohainess.



lol. seriously i am not looking forward to anything. and i don't know why. i am just living the life. trying my best to do things.

so i wont say things like " OMG 09' IS FUCKING OVER AND HERE 10' COMESSS! "

i'd rather say " hey. i have this shit to do. ok i'll try my best whether what occasion is it. so the 09' 10' shit is juz gonna give me another reason to party. lol. "



and in the very same time. i'm trying to learn. as we go on with life. we always learn.
all the adults say learning is the key to success. well i say learning is not really a choice unless u want to fuck up your life.

and i have to admit. alot things happened lately. i feel tired in somewhat.

and hell. i'm going on.

i will only look back in one fucking condition. to learn.




it's hard to keep up the pace of life. but if u cant. then u're not living the life.

and i have to say. i'm somewhat exhausted.




and ofcourse. i finally identified a big weakness and strength of mine.

is that i ask too much out of myself. pushing the limits just too much.

it causes a serious deal of stress that i've personally created for MYSELF.

but in the very same time. i achieve things because i put a great deal of stress in myself.
i still remember that back pain and headache i got from prom. i never imagined such level of pain due to stress.

so when i dun achieve it. i will naturally. feel. very fucking disappointed.
and that adds up wit my self created stress to a really sohai bad combinition.
the feeling is like.

misery sinking into my soul

and seriously i seldom get unhappy for too long for almost anything. normally i'll juz sleep and forget. like sum sohai. lol

but when i really get unhappy. this aura of darkness just projects out.



i get and give advises like the traffic in jalan pahang near hospital tawakal.

sometimes i am just blinded by the devil and all my sins. actually. not sometimes. more like most of the time. all the sins i've committed. sure as hell i know there is such a thing as karma.
so another question remains is that is karma a matter of time. or is it a matter u can avoid.





and i here again. i wanna thank who ever that was involved in my life.


for those who hurt me. u've thought me a lesson and i'll learn.


for those that i hurt. i'll try to look back and learn. and i'm ready to fix anything if u are too, ready to fix things.


for those that i unintentionally hurt without me myself noticing. all i can say is sorry and lets be friends


for those that taught me things and loved me. i'm truely grateful and i know to some i can never repay ur debt.


for those who stuck through with me. a big fucking thank you and u'll know i'll never let u guys down if u guys don't let me down too much.


for those who partied with me. lets party again =D






i guess. that's about it for now. i hope this is not a emo post.

please comment that whether what category is this post? hahaha. i'm blur.






oh ya! another thing. to whoever that u think deserves this.

don't go around ASSUMING THINGS. don't be TYPICAL.

notice why i always like to CLEAR THINGS UP although it's hurtful?

because i try not to be some lanjiao ASSUMING THINGS.

if u dare not clear things up. don't mother fucking make any statement on any issue.

so stop being a bitch =) alot of people say things like " DUN MAKE ME ANGRY "

well. i'm telling u. " ANGER IS NOT A SPECIAL CHARACTERISTIC. IT IS SOMETHING THAT EVERYONE HAVE BITCH "











before i stop. i wanna tell life something.

although i'm not very smart, handsome or wtf. lol.


but.

SERIOUSLY. FUCKING BRING IT ON

zh3n

i'm sorry.

..


this post. is specially dedicated to two persons.

one is to denissa.

i'm sorry that i make u feel insecure sometimes.

i'm sorry that you feel emo alot of times.

and i promise i'll try harder.






another is to my prom partner.

i'm sorry that i totally neglected u in prom.

i'm sorry if i acted like a jerk.

and i'm most sorry if u think i turn my back on you.





i hate to do some emo post.

and i aint emo.

just wanna take the time. to apologize.


so.


sorry.












zh3n

Don't plan for life.

.....




finally. this marks an end.

for secondary life.






sometimes. i think about all the things i did.

i wonder. seriously

juz wtf am i doing sometimes? lol.



do i wait for the night every day?





or do i wait for the next day every fucking night?







to some. these are great memories.

yet to some. this is Zhen Sern Being A Sohai.

to public. this is rubbish.







in chong hwa. i came to learn that. everything is not as it always seems.




when it's far. it's like another thing









and it always looks so different when it's near.




things are always not what it seems. and when this phrase uses always. we should highlight the Always.

apart from that. freedom has a damn price. a really damn price.





u never know when the jackpot hits u. and u get a huge muffin with the size of my body.







u also never know that there are brothers down the road to help u with ur shit.





u defianately also never know when is a bad habit gonna kick in




sometimes i think.

deep

what the hell has happened so far.... i've changed so damn much.

i've done so many. and yet i just continue to ask for more.

has my pride lead to greed?

why do i demand so much out of myself. when i know i am sure as hell.

living a good life



what's more....?

can u tell me.....


What Is More ?



oh well. College is the next chapter of my life. who knows.

That What Is More.









before i end this post.

i would like to thank "THE PREZ" Mr. Loh Hong Kai.

for giving me the chance to be involved in prom.

for allowing more things to happen.

for proving that.

we are freaking AWESOME

and ofcos. ALL THE DRINKING BUDDIESSSSS AFTERRR PROOM!!! AHHAHAHAHAHAH
tq tq. and ofcos. my brothers that helped me along the road.

like kaijun, chan neng and joshua. =)

and for anyone that made me smile. hahah. long list.












zh3n

kantoi.....

...........



ehem~!

drink all day.

play all night.

enough said.











zh3n

i hope this is not a boring post.

....




ok. for this post.

there will be no colours.

no pictures.

no BOLD no ITALIC

NO BIG WORDS.

NO SMALL WORDS.


Hahaha....



it's just one pure post.


again. i lazy to update what i've been to lately because there's just too many things!

as spm finishes. i feel like..... life is so friggin lifeless.....

everyday go scout do lifeless things.

go mamak do lifeless things.

go pool do lifeless things.

go people's party do lifeless things.

FUCKING LIFELESS! zzzzzzzzzz.........




some of my friends might know what the lifeless thing is. some might not.



sam said.

u can't have everything. lol

my opinion : juz believe u have everything lah deh~~




kw said.

as we achieve more fun. everything else seems so boring

my opinion : so maybe we should start playing chess......................................




jimmy said.

U BETTER CHANGE IT NOW!

my opinion : *laugh until cannot control myself*




dj said.

BE KINO!!!! FINDDD THEEEE "PEARRRLLLLL"

my opinion : BUT THE PRICE IS TOO HIGH TO GETT THEEE PEARRLLLLLLL

to think is such a dangerous thing

to think that a girl like u when she doesn't.

to think that u can play all your life without karma hitting back on you.

to think that u actually have control over yourself.

to think that u have 99 problems but the bitch ain't one.



To Think Too Much.
















zh3n