wrong.

I feel like the big words of this blog is wrong.

and many contents are wrong.

so i am changing.

not moving.

http://me-vs-beast.tumblr.com/

zh3n for the last time.

the beast and the mona lisa.

hey.

haha.

funny how i rarely use that word now a days.

hey.

the only thing right now that i feel is funny.

i used to tell people life is funny and a joke.

not reallising that i defined my life.

i am funny and i am a living joke.

before u continue reading. i would want to warn you.

that again. this post will not be colourful or interesting. it is of black and white. dull.

and if u decide to read. u would keep your opinions to yourself.

one last term. only people who care. can read.

because this is a story. a story of a man or boy. who had it all. and lost it all. over days.

sympathy is not needed. thank you.

Mona Lisa.

one of the most precious and beautiful painting in the world.

her smile hides her sorrows. her laughs hides her problems. her personality hides her world.

not everyone can appreciate a painting. but this is not a painting. this is. Mona Lisa.

it is not an object. it is alive. with emotions. with thoughts. with value.

the Beast.

this was an object to his emotions. it was an object to his sins. it was an object to himself.

i am not saying he is dead. but if u view from it from a certain angle. yes he is.

cause he has his life so tied to himself. he thought he had it all. done it all. and continue to do it all.

but what if. one day. the beast. who had it all. lost it all?

I believe this is the test that God is putting through.

hah.

funny.

funny how i mentioned God.

for the most of you who know who i was. u would know that. I don't believe in God.

it is sad that until to this point of life. i only realised. there is one. and there has always been one.

i was just too blinded by my own ego to see it or acknowledge it fully.

I believe this is like how my old friends use to say. "believe me. he will have his ways of approaching you."

should have believed you.

should have not believe the devil.

should have think.

should have learn.

should have died.

When i realised. that i had to change.

that's when. humanity came back.

and like it or not. humans need help. need god. need forgiveness.

guilt.

shame.

understanding.

sorrow.

loneliness.

love.

hate.

regret.

remorse.

careless.

thankful.

and many more.

were a mix of emotions felt within 5 days. you could not imagine the overwhelming feeling. but. Who am I to complain?

i realised it when i broke and stained the Mona Lisa. Something the whole world valued but i din't learn to value. I am lost for words.

All i can do now.

in my ability.

is to change.

i have given deep thoughts about many things.

even whether i should go to that church.

everybody is asking me to stay away from her.

and maybe i should. for after all.

i am the beast.

viva la vida - coldplay.

i am sorry Mona Lisa. I can't give up on you. I don't want to. but if i love you. I guess I have to.

zh3n